What if?

Every day as I walk past her house, the 14 year old is seated on the now broken fences and looking a far off may be in thoughts. She is heavily pregnant and staying at her mother's house. I say Good morning to her , she answers and then continues staring into space. And i wondered may be she comes out to sit at the fence every morning to look at her fellow age mates walk off to school and think If things hadn't been different , she would be walking off to school with them. But for her, what is there to look forward to everyday? Nothing much but crushed dreams for now.

This particular girl is of interest to me, because i have watched her grow from a child to a 14 year old , I have watched her go from a happy girl to a sad little girl and I have watched her grow so fast to a woman, the day her mother decided that it was best to marry her off to an older man because she couldn't pay school fees for her. Of course the marriage didn't last for that long, she had to come back home and the man decided to get him self a new wife. When i ask the mother about it " she says, I am waiting for her to give birth, I will keep the baby and she will go back to school. After she graduates from Lower secondary school, her husband has promised to take her back and give her a job." Then she adds, I wanted her to go to school but her brothers couldn't pay school fees and life is not easy, so i think i made the decision". What do i say to this?, Mmmh.

Why men are happy ?

Why men are such happy people?

Because your last name never changes

A car mechanic will always tell you the truth about your car

Wrinkles add character, they are not horror marks

You are in one mood all the time

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds

Because a 10 day vacation requires only one suitcase

Because if someone fails to invite you to their party he or she can still be your friend

Because 3 pairs of shoes is all you will need for a lifetime

You have the same hairdo for 30 years

You only have to shave your face once in a while

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look

You can do your nails with a pocket knife

You order your football ticket 6 months in advance but do Christmas shopping on Dec 24th in 25 minutes 

To be born a Woman In Africa

To be Born a Woman In Africa,
means that,
Your parents are either happy or sad that you were born a girl,
You  always take care of your self last,
Your always thought of last when it comes to who gets what in your home,
The decisions that you make are examined and if they do not fit into the plans others have for you, then they automatically have to change.
Your life is socially and culturally planned for you and your expected to follow the same path as your mother or your sister or your aunt.
Your expected to get married, have children and put your dreams on hold for everyone else,
Your expected to get a job and perfectly balance your work and married life and if you can't then your expected to quit your job.
Men do not make mistakes and are always right so you do not question any of their decisions.
Your not supposed to remarry when your husband passes away because you will always belong to your deceased husband's clan and so they will always make decisions for you
Your expected to give birth to a boy and if you can't then your husband is justified to go and sleep with other women and your are taught to let him do that because he is a man

She comes for a family planning education session, after listening to the nurse for an hour, she decides that she should may be try using one  of the methods because she had her last baby so soon and she wouldn't want to go through another child birth experience again. She waits patiently for her turn as she breastfeeds her four months old baby. When it's her turn, the nurse gives her a small container and instructs her to bring some urine to run tests. The stick is dipped in the tin and after a few minutes, two pink lines show and the nurse calls her back to giver her the results. The results showed she was pregnant with her ninth child.

She ponders this and then asks the nurse if he is sure about the results. He says yes. After murmuring a little thanks, she walks out and starts her journey home but a million thoughts are running through her head. She already has 8 children and does not want another child. May be if her husband was able to provide enough food for them, may be if they had a piece of land and  were not renting on someone else's  land, may be then she would not have minded another child, may be if she didn't have to go through nine months of carrying a child and then trying to work hard to feed the others. She finally makes peace with being pregnant and hopes that things will get better.

The labor pains begin one night but she has to wait until the morning because the medical people at the nearest health centre do not work at night. Early in the morning,she sits on a boda with her close neighbour because her husband has to stay home with the other kids, the ride is long and bumpy but she tries to be strong. At the health centre, she labors for hours untill the nurse decides she needs to go to a hospital. At the hosptial, a C-section is done and she gives birth to a beautiful baby boy but she is bleeding so much and the doctors try their best to save her life but it seems that that hope and life won't cooperate.

She knows she is not going to make it and as the breath slowly leaves her body ,she asks to see her son . As she is holding him, tears start rolling down her eyes because she knows she will never be able to see her son grow up, she knows he will probably not have a better life, she knows her husband will struggle bringing up these chidlren on his own and probably because she never got to say good bye to him. She looks deep in his eyes and murmurs a simple prayer and that she is sorry.

She becomes one of the numerous women who have died in child birth.