Every day as I walk past her house, the 14 year old is seated on the now broken fences and looking a far off may be in thoughts. She is heavily pregnant and staying at her mother's house. I say Good morning to her , she answers and then continues staring into space. And i wondered may be she comes out to sit at the fence every morning to look at her fellow age mates walk off to school and think If things hadn't been different , she would be walking off to school with them. But for her, what is there to look forward to everyday? Nothing much but crushed dreams for now.
This particular girl is of interest to me, because i have watched her grow from a child to a 14 year old , I have watched her go from a happy girl to a sad little girl and I have watched her grow so fast to a woman, the day her mother decided that it was best to marry her off to an older man because she couldn't pay school fees for her. Of course the marriage didn't last for that long, she had to come back home and the man decided to get him self a new wife. When i ask the mother about it " she says, I am waiting for her to give birth, I will keep the baby and she will go back to school. After she graduates from Lower secondary school, her husband has promised to take her back and give her a job." Then she adds, I wanted her to go to school but her brothers couldn't pay school fees and life is not easy, so i think i made the decision". What do i say to this?, Mmmh.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Why men are happy ?
Why men are such happy people?
Because your last name never changes
A car mechanic will always tell you the truth about your
car
Wrinkles add character, they are not horror marks
You are in one mood all the time
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds
Because a 10 day vacation requires only one suitcase
Because if someone fails to invite you to their party he
or she can still be your friend
Because 3 pairs of shoes is all you will need for a
lifetime
You have the same hairdo for 30 years
You only have to shave your face once in a while
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look
You can do your nails with a pocket knife
You order your football ticket 6 months in advance but do
Christmas shopping on Dec 24th in 25 minutes
To be born a Woman In Africa
To be Born a Woman In Africa,
means that,
Your parents are either happy or sad that you were born a girl,
You always take care of your self last,
Your always thought of last when it comes to who gets what in your home,
The decisions that you make are examined and if they do not fit into the plans others have for you, then they automatically have to change.
Your life is socially and culturally planned for you and your expected to follow the same path as your mother or your sister or your aunt.
Your expected to get married, have children and put your dreams on hold for everyone else,
Your expected to get a job and perfectly balance your work and married life and if you can't then your expected to quit your job.
Men do not make mistakes and are always right so you do not question any of their decisions.
Your not supposed to remarry when your husband passes away because you will always belong to your deceased husband's clan and so they will always make decisions for you
Your expected to give birth to a boy and if you can't then your husband is justified to go and sleep with other women and your are taught to let him do that because he is a man
means that,
Your parents are either happy or sad that you were born a girl,
You always take care of your self last,
Your always thought of last when it comes to who gets what in your home,
The decisions that you make are examined and if they do not fit into the plans others have for you, then they automatically have to change.
Your life is socially and culturally planned for you and your expected to follow the same path as your mother or your sister or your aunt.
Your expected to get married, have children and put your dreams on hold for everyone else,
Your expected to get a job and perfectly balance your work and married life and if you can't then your expected to quit your job.
Men do not make mistakes and are always right so you do not question any of their decisions.
Your not supposed to remarry when your husband passes away because you will always belong to your deceased husband's clan and so they will always make decisions for you
Your expected to give birth to a boy and if you can't then your husband is justified to go and sleep with other women and your are taught to let him do that because he is a man
Friday, April 19, 2013
She comes for a family planning education session, after listening to the nurse for an hour, she decides that she should may be try using one of the methods because she had her last baby so soon and she wouldn't want to go through another child birth experience again. She waits patiently for her turn as she breastfeeds her four months old baby. When it's her turn, the nurse gives her a small container and instructs her to bring some urine to run tests. The stick is dipped in the tin and after a few minutes, two pink lines show and the nurse calls her back to giver her the results. The results showed she was pregnant with her ninth child.
She ponders this and then asks the nurse if he is sure about the results. He says yes. After murmuring a little thanks, she walks out and starts her journey home but a million thoughts are running through her head. She already has 8 children and does not want another child. May be if her husband was able to provide enough food for them, may be if they had a piece of land and were not renting on someone else's land, may be then she would not have minded another child, may be if she didn't have to go through nine months of carrying a child and then trying to work hard to feed the others. She finally makes peace with being pregnant and hopes that things will get better.
The labor pains begin one night but she has to wait until the morning because the medical people at the nearest health centre do not work at night. Early in the morning,she sits on a boda with her close neighbour because her husband has to stay home with the other kids, the ride is long and bumpy but she tries to be strong. At the health centre, she labors for hours untill the nurse decides she needs to go to a hospital. At the hosptial, a C-section is done and she gives birth to a beautiful baby boy but she is bleeding so much and the doctors try their best to save her life but it seems that that hope and life won't cooperate.
She knows she is not going to make it and as the breath slowly leaves her body ,she asks to see her son . As she is holding him, tears start rolling down her eyes because she knows she will never be able to see her son grow up, she knows he will probably not have a better life, she knows her husband will struggle bringing up these chidlren on his own and probably because she never got to say good bye to him. She looks deep in his eyes and murmurs a simple prayer and that she is sorry.
She becomes one of the numerous women who have died in child birth.
She ponders this and then asks the nurse if he is sure about the results. He says yes. After murmuring a little thanks, she walks out and starts her journey home but a million thoughts are running through her head. She already has 8 children and does not want another child. May be if her husband was able to provide enough food for them, may be if they had a piece of land and were not renting on someone else's land, may be then she would not have minded another child, may be if she didn't have to go through nine months of carrying a child and then trying to work hard to feed the others. She finally makes peace with being pregnant and hopes that things will get better.
The labor pains begin one night but she has to wait until the morning because the medical people at the nearest health centre do not work at night. Early in the morning,she sits on a boda with her close neighbour because her husband has to stay home with the other kids, the ride is long and bumpy but she tries to be strong. At the health centre, she labors for hours untill the nurse decides she needs to go to a hospital. At the hosptial, a C-section is done and she gives birth to a beautiful baby boy but she is bleeding so much and the doctors try their best to save her life but it seems that that hope and life won't cooperate.
She knows she is not going to make it and as the breath slowly leaves her body ,she asks to see her son . As she is holding him, tears start rolling down her eyes because she knows she will never be able to see her son grow up, she knows he will probably not have a better life, she knows her husband will struggle bringing up these chidlren on his own and probably because she never got to say good bye to him. She looks deep in his eyes and murmurs a simple prayer and that she is sorry.
She becomes one of the numerous women who have died in child birth.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Hope
When we are born, the desire to Hope is engraved in our lives because Let's face it, if we did not hope, then we would never think of tomorrow and Hope that it will being us better things, we would never go through problems Hoping that tomorrow will be better but we learn to hope and some how that keeps us going every day.
The other day, I went to talk to a fistula patient about the idea of using a menstrual cup to hold urine so technically this would give them one hour of protection only that they would have to keep emptying the cup once it gets full. When I explained this to the patient, she was willing to try and she told me " I am Hoping that this works".
We sat quietly for one hour and this was the longest hour for this woman, every time I looked at her, she seemed to be praying quietly, and deep down my heart i was hoping that it would work out so that this woman would have better days ahead of her. Eventually the hour elapsed, but our Hope was Thwarted because the Urine did not drop into the cup but it instead continued to leak outside the cup.
Later, the woman looked up to me and said " It might not have worked this time , but I will keep trying the cup and I Hope that it will work"
The other day, I went to talk to a fistula patient about the idea of using a menstrual cup to hold urine so technically this would give them one hour of protection only that they would have to keep emptying the cup once it gets full. When I explained this to the patient, she was willing to try and she told me " I am Hoping that this works".
We sat quietly for one hour and this was the longest hour for this woman, every time I looked at her, she seemed to be praying quietly, and deep down my heart i was hoping that it would work out so that this woman would have better days ahead of her. Eventually the hour elapsed, but our Hope was Thwarted because the Urine did not drop into the cup but it instead continued to leak outside the cup.
Later, the woman looked up to me and said " It might not have worked this time , but I will keep trying the cup and I Hope that it will work"
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Connections
Today in the news papers, they showed a bunch of kids who got scholarships to go and study in the US. They even went ahead and showed us which schools these kids went to. They all went first class schools meaning they are all from well to do families since you can not take your child to such a school unless you have the money to do so. So at the end of the day, the halfs gain more from their connections and those that do not have continue leaving their miserable lives. I think if the US really wanted to help, they should roll out this scholarship to children from third class schools because I have met some who are really bright and given the chance they would even outshine these kids from first class schools.
But TIA, these things happen!! That's why developed countries always screw us up!!
Today in the news papers, they showed a bunch of kids who got scholarships to go and study in the US. They even went ahead and showed us which schools these kids went to. They all went first class schools meaning they are all from well to do families since you can not take your child to such a school unless you have the money to do so. So at the end of the day, the halfs gain more from their connections and those that do not have continue leaving their miserable lives. I think if the US really wanted to help, they should roll out this scholarship to children from third class schools because I have met some who are really bright and given the chance they would even outshine these kids from first class schools.
But TIA, these things happen!! That's why developed countries always screw us up!!
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Despair and Hope
Despair and Hope
I am seated in a taxi going to Jinja and in the back seat, there is a couple seated with a very sick child . He is probably 1 year but he has lost so much weight that you can barely recognize he is that age. Every one in the taxi is very concerned about his condition and every time some one asks what is wrong with the baby because his breathing is strained and he barely has the strength to cry, the father answers " He does not have blood, but we are taking him to the hospital and hoping they will give him the blood he needs" and then he goes back to looking at his child. The mother is holding the child and very quietly , she listens to his breathing, i think to make sure that he is still breathing and in her eyes , you see the desperation every time the Taxi stops to pick up some one because every minute lost means her baby might die. She shoves passion fruit down the baby's throat and any time she stops , the husbands shouts for her to keep giving the baby more juice. At the end of the day, I wonder what these two parents are thinking but i know one thing for sure they are both praying to God to spare their child and praying that the hospital will have the blood they need.
I am seated in a taxi going to Jinja and in the back seat, there is a couple seated with a very sick child . He is probably 1 year but he has lost so much weight that you can barely recognize he is that age. Every one in the taxi is very concerned about his condition and every time some one asks what is wrong with the baby because his breathing is strained and he barely has the strength to cry, the father answers " He does not have blood, but we are taking him to the hospital and hoping they will give him the blood he needs" and then he goes back to looking at his child. The mother is holding the child and very quietly , she listens to his breathing, i think to make sure that he is still breathing and in her eyes , you see the desperation every time the Taxi stops to pick up some one because every minute lost means her baby might die. She shoves passion fruit down the baby's throat and any time she stops , the husbands shouts for her to keep giving the baby more juice. At the end of the day, I wonder what these two parents are thinking but i know one thing for sure they are both praying to God to spare their child and praying that the hospital will have the blood they need.
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